More on softdrugs

Well, today there's something for the small home growers. In Holland there are a lot of small home-growers. I'm not talking about the high number of illigal plantages counting thousands if not ten of thousands of plants. Once in a while a huge greenhouse is rounded up and all of it's contains will be destroyed. ( Sayang naman !!). The problem is that these suckers are drawing off the electricity and stealing for millions from our community. International cartels are running the busyness, oh man it's an export branche you can't immagine. The retail prices for this product are between 10 to 20 US$ or even more, due to quality. The mabs sell theirs for some $6,000 a Kg. Let's estimate you can grow half a kilo of grass/m2. A medium livingroom size 4 by5m space, could produce 10 K's = 60 fucking thousand US $. Each three months !!!! Now imagine a huge greenhouse, then your talking millions....
I've seen pictures on TV, taken inside those 'weed factories' as they were discovered and dismantled.

Our Dutch tolerance towards the recreational weed-blowers in Holland is at jeopardy. These illigal big shit is screwing up. The number of countries where you get sentenced to jail (or worse !!!) for the possesion of one gram of marihuana are innumerable. Now where in the whole fuckin'world will you find a place, where you can walk a free man after paying your fine for running a plantage.... That's no good. I agree with Brussels, something need to be done to stop or suppress these activities. Now how succesfully have the drugs-fighters fought their war on cocaïne in South America ? Or their struggle against the opium producing Afgans ?

We are not waiting to end up in a war to lose our well fought freedom to smoke a dooby...

My sollution is so simple. Stop maintaining this tolerance policy. Then grant permits to all Dutch inhabitants to grow at least their own weed, give it a limit of 10 plants or something so possesion is no longer criminal. People not smoking their own pot should be allowed to provide in the needs of a local coffee shop.

I don't understand all that fuss around smoking the marijuanaplant. What the heck, smoking tabacco to get addicted to nicotine is world wide accepted. Everybody knows how bad smoking is to your health, it causes cancer to the throat and the lungs and kills a little, day by day..

Drinking alcohol is just as bad to the abuser. Do you want to ruin you liver, or hit your wife and children when your intoxicated ? Go for alcohol...

The old Indians knew how to make peace ( before the Europeans came to steal their habitat and to kill their buffalo's), they had their peace-pipe. I have no idea what they were smoking, but as I may believe the old western movies ( I better don't !!!) it was some kind of pot for sure. Wow, did those guys get stoned man. They even could make it rain by dancing only, LOL.

The American policy to the use/abuse of alcohol and drugs are diverse. Oh, do we remember the good old days when alcohol was banned in the states. It wasn't only Al Capone who made a fortune during that time by selling 'drinks'. A lot of the todays millionairs thank their fortune to that periode. As soon as it was legalized again, the busyness collapsed. There was a time that smoking marijuana was just as common as it was to smoke nicotine.

It was president Carter I believe, who had a good nose to that. I think he though: "That's no peanuts". And there were changes possible. But then his successor, this moviestar colleague of ours planned it the opposite way. Thank you Ronald. Since than nothing has changed for the better. I hope our prime-minister Balkenende will invite Barack Obama to come and smoke a dooby, that'ld be something, hahahaha.

For now I will stick to the small home grower and forget all about those anti-activities.

For those of you who are, once in a while, growing there own herbs, some tips. It's not always easy to get your hands on cuttings, using cutings is the fasted way to grow you a plant, it doesn't grow sky high and you are sure it's a girl... Getting seeds is no problem at all. It's legal to by them at any growshop or coffeeshop, at least in Holland it is. Now growing your plants from seeds takes longer than starting up with cuttings. Another disadvantage is that you're not always sure whether your plants are male ore female. You have 50 %. We don't want the males right ??

It's only when the plants start flowering that the difference can be seen. A well trained grower will be able to see it weeks earlier, but you can never be sure. It's not only taking care of useless male-plants. Suppose you are allowed to grow ten plants in your private little garden, well you're facing problems, cos you need to start with 20 seeds to leave you 10 ladys.. Another thing, when you too late spot a male, you might end up having a bunch of seeds in your tops.

OK, let's say you managed to have yourself one or more nice female copies, have it grown in one single top only, cut away the smaller stuff which is under there ( not all of it ). This way you can expect a nice 2 feet long top, see picture. After blooming for about 2 months the main top can be harvested. Click to see the picture posted earlier this week.

Now, don't kill the plant and don't harvast all the smaller tops, be sure some leaves and small blooming tops remain on the stam. Within 2 weeks you can harvast again from the smaller tops. From that moment the plant(s) need to be exposed to a longer periode of light, at least 18 hours in a run for the next 4 or 5 weeks. The plant needs its time to grow new leaves, but it's worth it. Then lower the light exposure to 12 hours or less and the girl begins to flower again..
This lady goes to 'bed' at 8 pm and wakes up at 8 am.

I'll keep you guys informed about these girlfriends.

This is adorable

Blind border Collie gets his own guide dog

Collies usually round up sheep not each other... but as the eyes of her blind canine companion, little Bonnie steers Clyde away from trouble.

The five-year-old long-haired border collie, who has lost his sight because of a degenerative disease, relies entirely on Bonnie as his guide dog. He follows her everywhere.

And like the American gangster lovers they have been named after, the friendly dogs are on the lookout for a safe, new hideaway.

They were recently dumped in the street during a storm and are currently being cared for at Meadow Green Dog Rescue Centre in Hales Green, near Loddon in Norfolk.

The centre's Cherie Cootes said: "If Clyde's unsure where he is, he will suddenly go behind Bonnie and put his face on the back of her so she can guide him. He totally relies on her.

"And when she walks she tends to stop and make sure he's there - she does look out for him. When she's about you wouldn't notice he is blind, but when she's not about he refuses to move. There's no option of homing them separately. They've got to go as a pair."

A driver found the dogs running through Blundeston, near Lowestoft, Suffolk, during a storm three weeks ago. Neither Clyde nor Bonnie - a short-haired border collie aged two or three - had identifying collars or chips.

Cherie, 40, added: "They've got very nice manners and they walk well on the lead.

"They really are a very sweet pair of dogs."

If you can give Bonnie and Clyde a home, call the centre on 01508 548 216.

Softdrugs in Holland

Now I would like to explain to you how the Dutch policy on soft drugs is initiated, but I can't. One way or another it seemed to work for the last 50 years. It was in the early 60's that hippies, provos and other general weed smokers confronted the Dutch government with a new life stile. The center of the capital Amsterdam was the place to be at that time. The national monument and its square and the Vondelpark were the domain of the nowadays retirees. It was the time when the Beatles and the Stone(d)s wrote their most famous songs after lighting up a joint. It was a generation that wanted to get rid of the old conservative past-world war politicians. I mean most of them were born half way the 19th century and not in for renewals. Come on... As I remember from my childhood, the political parties mostly had a religious base, there were the Catholics Party, the Cristian Reformed, the protestants, the commies(sort of a religion?) and a bunch more. It was time for the socialists.

Our part of the world was recovering from a huge inter-human confrontation. The economic perspectives were bad in the 50's, my childhood. We were lucky, my father never lost his job in all those years. We weren't rich, no way, my father's employers were sort of greedy. There was a time that my old man was the only personnel at the newspapers office. The boss was running the bookstore and kiosk while my father was typing the copy on a huge machine spitting out the lead rules. Then each page was edited by hand, locked in a frame and placed into another machine: the press. I have seen my dad working on this press, each page (newspaper size) had to be inserted the grip, and that a few thousand times. Then there was second page or more, depending on the local news ! oh yeah, the pages needed a print on both sides !! Then the dried pages were inserted together and folded. Now, believe it or not. Then my old men would take his bicycle and deliver the newspapers in and around our hometown in the mean time gathering news... How about that ?? His salary ? Well, let's say he was a slave of the capitalist system and abused by his employers.

This is a small Heidelberg press, A-4.

I'm 14 and making some pocket-money by printing enveloppes during the holidays..

But my old man must have thought: Don't bite the hand that feeds you.

... there were others, and they díd bite the hands that fed them... Of course they were called communists ( like everybody else word wide who dared to challenge the capital).
Well, we were no capitalists for sure, we never went for a holiday and we had no car. We weren't poor either, let's say just enough to survive and to pay for my studies. And we were no commies either ( I was told as a child that the communists were no good, they were trying to get peoples properties, and everything was owned by the state). What's new for us, both ways we wouldn't own anything !!! No, we were something in between, called socialists. I had a feeling they were sort of Robin Hoods, telling the rich they were rich enough. Requiring their part of the profits, share with the poor. It was the voice of the people and it worked. It took its time up to the 60's to flower its fruits but then, there was freedom............

New political parties, green, liberal, democratic oh man they grew like mushrooms. But there was a huge move to a new generation, my generation. Flower power, make love no war, you know what I mean. Everything that wasn't allowed was done.!! The parks in Amsterdam changed into nudist campings, and everyone was smoking his naked ass off while enjoying intercourses 'en public'. Who doesn't remember John Lennon and Yoko Ono's "Bed-in" , in Amsterdam Hilton 1969,( room 902) those days. It was off limits "If you'r going to San Francisco" music, like that. LOL... John Lennon woke up the entire world when he declared he was more popular than Jezus Christ, f#@ing guts !!! Popi Jopi didn't play his records in the Vatican anymore for sure...!Hahahaha,huhuhuhu.

Anyway, copulating in public was rejected and no longer allowed OK. But all those thc-lovers didn't give a shit and insisted in their provoke protests. And they won. But don't ask me how the government managed to legalize or better, to tolerate the use of marijuana and buy small amounts (5 grams) of it in coffee shops. There is a leak in this system. Oh, hell yes,: There's a hóóóle in the bucket dear Liza, a hole... And nobody bothered to fix the hole cos all parties were content...!!!

Now this  Europian Union Jk'asses in Brussels are building up pressure to our community to stop these illegal activities.

The problem is how to provide the coffee shops with grass without violating the law. It can't be done legaly because production and distribution of the drugs is prohibited. Even selling cuttings of the plants is forbidden. A coffee shop is allowed to stock half a kilo. But the ones bringing in the stuff, the runners the growers they are at large...!!!  Holland counts an estimated 1.5 million Canna smokers (10% of the population) , the youngsters, under 25  numbered over 25 %... You cannot ignore that number of people.
  Oh, they are the voters in the next elections and they can cause a complete turn to either right or left. Holland is well know for its tolerance towards soft drugs, religions, ethnic origin or sexual orientation. Then people from all over the world get their asses down here cos they can do things they are not allowed to do in their own bloody countries. Or fugitives seeking asylum cos they are hunted in their fatherland. No problem with that no,..They are welcome, but don't expect us to change our habits cos it doesn't fit their culture. Go to Rome and be as the Romans.

Leave us be, pls. Brussels.!!! Don't ask us to close our borders to 'drugs tourists' from Belgium, Germany and France cos it's prohibited in their countries to smoke pot.

We did our fight for freedom, now stand up against all those anti-blowers yourselves, unite, start a Green party, have your voices heard, do something about it in your country as well..

The coffee-shops near the Belgium border cos nuisance to the neighborhood as all those thousands of shoppers come to benefit our tolerance, but killing it at the same time. The tolerance has come to an end now. Lots of shops are closed already. Those closer than 250 mtrs. to a public school were ordered to close and stop their activities.

Amsterdam even considers to not only close a bunch of shops, but also to shut down the red-light district, no more open windows next to coffee shops, well I tell you, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Mat Damon, the other Oceans cast and crew and millions of other tourists won't bother to stop and shop in the Netherlands.

See what happened with Ermita after cleaning-up ???? (the tourist-belt in Manila)

Get up, stand up, stand up for your right. Create your own freedom and tolerance, don't ruin ours.

It's about time to light a doobie, thank you folks.


-Canna is a herb, not a drug.

Marijuana can reduce allergic skin reactions.

Researchers have found in animal trials that a compound called tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), which is naturally occurring in Cannabis sativa (otherwise known as marijuana) can reduce allergic skin reactions.

For example, he exposed the ears of mice with normal endocannabinoid receptors to a chemical irritant called dinitrofluorobenzene (DNFB), which causes a severe skin reaction similar to that caused by poison ivy in humans.

Within a matter of minutes, the amount of an endocannabinoid called anandamide jumped from undetectable levels to about 300 picomoles per gram of analysed tissue.

When Zimmer's team applied 30 micrograms of synthetic THC to the animals' ears it reduced the skin irritation by half. For comparison, a cannabis cigarette contains as much as 150 milligrams of THC.

Such endocannabinoids may also produced by the body and speculates that individuals with (autoimmune) inflammatory conditions such as asthma and eczema may might not produce enough such endocannabinoids. In these cases, THC-like compounds may have therapeutic potential.

I'm not a tourist, I live here...

Living in Manila during the 80's for sure was an adventure, whether I looked to the right or the left, something was going on. One had to be careful not to run into traps as a newcomer, oh there were plenty. The main problem were the corrupted police and 'barangay' near the tourist belt. They  knew the smell of money like a hash-dog finds your weed... They were 'hunting' tourists and followed the victims for a while to discover their weak points. Taxi-drivers were involved as well. Oh, this is about the first thing you heard: "Taxi sir, taxi !!, you want a girl ?"..."Dollaaar, Dollaaar ".   then they  'hooked' the dumbasses and had them paid a huge amount of foreign currency.. "Dollaaar, Dollaaaaaaaaar". But  this happens in many a big Metropole.  Ermita wasn't different but  special.
 Piece a cake to recognize those 'barangays'( that's how they were called.)., I mean just their attitude, cheeky, mostly drunk and quite often carrying a gun. Now one day it happened that one of those nasty figures was teasing and challenging me. So I told the sucker to stop fooling around with me, either he could drink a beer on me or I would take him down the NBI-gym to kick his pinoy ass. This one wasn't that stupid, he accepted my beer, and every time I saw this guy in Ermita he would say: "Hi Boss, kumusta na po?".

Later on there were T-shirts with this print on it: I'm not a tourist, I live here.

I didn't need it anymore.. hahahahaha

Hellcamp aka Opposing force and senior visiting

Senior as a POW, on the set of Hellcamp.
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My father in Holland who had been reading all my letters about the sweet life in the Philippines and the adventures on the film sets, couldn't resist my invitation to come over for a couple of months and stay in my place.... Oh, I tell you, he had ears to that. Now you need to know that my old man only spoke Dutch and a few words of German.. In his youth ( he was born in 1910) there wasn't enough money to support high school. So when he turned 12 he had to find a job and he ended up with a local newspaper-writer/printer in our hometown. He learned the job, got his diplomas and stayed there for the rest of his carrier, I mean 53 years in a row !!! He never reported sick until his early 60's when he needed an ear surgery. He was a perfectionist in his labor, worked late and in the weekends.
In his 20's he started a second job for the weekends, and that was in the movie theater in our place. It didn't take long for him to learn how to handle the projectors. During the intermission he was selling soft drinks and candy bars.

Now it happened that both, the owner of the newspaper and the movie house operator were jewish and they were transported to labor camps in Germany during WW2, like a lot of civilian boys and men from that area. But the Germans wanted the newspaper-press to keep on rolling and they told my dad he was exempted from labor abroad so he ended up to run the store single handed . But even more LOL, cos they needed him in the theater as well.

My parents were able to survive the war without too much suffering, living in the province was better than in the big cities, the '1944 winter was the hardest part when food became scarce. Both of his employers returned from prison camps and got back to work after the war....

Now can you imagine my father when he was watching 'my movies' in his theater , 40 years later.........:)

He didn't hesitate for a moment when I asked him to come and see with his own eyes what was going on over here !!! He was 75 already and never tasted the experience of flying, so his maiden trip ( over 20 hrs from Amsterdam-Manila) was a good one for sure.

I wanted to spent some time with him and didn't mind the movie busyness for the moment.

At the beach after a typhoon..

We did a trip Manila, Ermita of course, where it all started, Luneta and the rest.

 .. we headed for Pagsanjan and the rapids, oh he loved that trip by banca and the beautiful views of the province and thought it a nice place to live.

The rapids

Well, I had planned some more, oh yeah, I took him all the way up to Baguio, 300 km up north and at a comfortable 1500 meters altitude.

Most of the time of this 6 hrs trip was spent on numerous mountain-passes and hairpin bends that slowed us down quite a bit, but the sight, this beautiful sight wow, when y're above the clouds for a while, leaving us a view  we'ld never forget for the rest of our life. By plane it will take  about 3/4 of an hour, but travelling by bus is an event you should taste for at least once in your lifetime The difference in temperature is a 10 C. jump. From 35 down to 25 is cool man. During the hot summers the government settles  here and so do another quarter of a million tourists to double the population of the city during the hot season. 

When you want more than Baguio you need to take another 6 hours drive to Banaue and Sagada in the middle of the Mountain province. And it's worth it. Pa didn't mind the trip but faced some problems when he needed to dump a load. It aren't really comfort rooms, its a hole, there's no toilet paper and it's stinky and filthy. He came back to get some tissues but wasn't amused at all, well shit happens hahaha...

The beautiful Sagada falls, but not easy to come there

I had been here before and knew where to find us a nice and cheap place to stay. Oh and I knew where to get me a joint, well not too difficult, just follow the nice smells.

Banaue, an ingenious system

Sagada view.

The reason why tourists come to this small mountain village is the marvelous cave system ,and the hanging coffins of course which make it a lugubrious attraction. And to ride the rapids...

The coffins ( with contents ) are placed at various unreachable ridges along the sides.

Some of them are at closer distance and give a morbide look to the degraded remains.

We had a 12 hours journey ahead of us back to Manila. One way or another we managed to get one of the last busses to my place. We were exhausted  at arrival. ...As soon as we were recovered from our 'worldtrip' we went to Manila  once again. I wanted to have a look at Central Casting's cos there was something comin'up in a while as I'd learned. And it was a hit, Maria Metcalfe passed me a contract which I had to sign instantly. "You are playing a guard", she said. The shootings were to start by next week, that's all I knew... When we got outside, we walked in to Peta and Peter ( from the Firebird) they had no plans for the rest of the day so they joined us to the beach. My father finally met with his first movie stars :))

and there were more to come...

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I told him I would be gone for the whole week to shoot that movie, but he didn't mind he said, he could use a rest hahaha. And he wasn't alone. My 'alalay' came to visit him with her children every day, she did the shoppings and cooked him a meal. He was in good hands with my friends from the barrio . I took off for Manila and at arrival in 'Film-more' Avenue I met with old buddies. Steve Rogers was there, Willie Williams, David Light and Henry Strzalkowski. And some more guys I never met before. Our location ??... My favorite province Laguna !! We were heading for "Hidden Valley' near Alaminos.

This valley is situated between Laguna-lake ... View on Taal lake.

...and Taal-lake and was formed ages ago when the whole area was blown apart by a huge eruption. The volcanic activities didn't stop since, it still rumbles and bumbles once in a while. There are hot water springs all over the place, small lakes, a unique flora and fauna, little rivers every were, the sound of falling water, the smell of the jungle. It was such a nice place to be, a real Wonderland.

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FULL Movie CLICK HERE 

  'Clay Pigeons'.. aka 'Hellcamp'.. aka 'Opposing Force'

The film set was a prisoner camp, supposed to be on a remote island in the middle of nowhere. The prisoners needed to be guarded and I was one of them. The shootings might take as long as three weeks, weekends off.. 

 ... Prisoner Steve Rogers, 'guarded' by Bill Kipp and me, with Rafael Shulz and Henry Strzalkowski flanking 

    

 

  

   

Cast and crew

It was a relaxed set, there were more crew than cast. There was plenty of time to smoke a doobie and to enjoy the nature at its best. Henry really was a nice guy, typing his name is the only unpleasant part of it, hahaha. I think this was the 5th or 6th movie I worked for him and he joined many a joint. Henry didn't give it a second thought when I asked him how about bringing my old man to the set next week? He said it was a nice plan and would ask higher-up. Production didn't mind and it was OK'd. When I told the cast about my fathers visit next week they all saw it as a very nice opportunity for a retiree to experience this adventure.... 

Bertus sr. jumped sky high when I told him about things to come. He couldn't wait the weekend to pass... 

 

Pa had a good time on the set and it didn't bother him at all that nobody understood what he said and that came vice versa..

Housing wasn't a problem either, there was plenty of room and an extra bed was provided in one of our nice bungalows. I wanted to pay for the food but he was an 'all in' gast and it was for free. My father was surprised by all this hospitality and felt a little like a movie star already. He was allowed to stay for a couple of days and he enjoyed every minute of it.

Hell Camp (AKA Opposing Force or Clay Pigeons) — withDing Navasero, Nato Morado, Bert Spoor, Vic Ordonez, Steve Cook, Jim Gaines Jr, Rafael Schulz, Henry Strzalkowski, David Light, Sgt. Boy Ibanez, Bill Kipp and Tony Williams.

The second day we switched to night shooting, means we had to work after the 6 o'clock diner!!

At 7 it was almost dark already and cameras were rolling. We did our things until midnight.. then all of a sudden the lights were switched off. I thought it was an early wrap, but the lights went on again while everybody was singing "happy birthday".  

Our direct, Eric Carson was celebrating his birthday and there was the party..

 

It wasn't just snacks and drinks, no there was a show attached. Two Philippina's started a striptease and were drinking champagne from eachothers navels. Dad liked it....

Next morning he was still talking about it and he enjoyed the rest of his stay.......:)

Not so much room.. .

I had planned to join him on the trip back to Holland and stay there for a month or so. But Ken Metcalfe made the difference.

There was something coming up, if I was interested ???????

 ...you bet..!

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Wen jor Inglis is nuts oh gut..

I like writing, already since I was a kid. Reading was my first hobby, books weren't safe for me and the thicker those books were, the more I enjoyed it. And I became critical as it comes to Dutch grammar, well nothing weird to that as both my parents stimulated this habit by getting me involved in playing 'Scrabble'. Then there were those brain-brakers: cryptograms, oh I loved them' suckers, it was playing language and you needed to be a smartass to understand all the hidden hints.  Besides that my old man was a typographer to a local newspaper and was typing and printing and correcting...

The Dutch (and Scandinavian even more) people are known for speaking their languages. The British, French and the German however score significant lower in speaking a second 'tongue'. Most Americans stick to English only, (some of them even think Paris France is a model) LOL.

But our laughs are not at you....

This story realy happened.

It was back in the 90's when this Dutch girl maked her first trip abroad. She was still a teener and most likely skipped a lot of her English classes. It happened on her trip to England at the ferry somewhere between Calais-Dover. Some miles offshore the stores on the ship open their Taxfree shops to sell their stuff, now all she wanted was a bar of chocolate like Mars or something.

( Now we Dutchmen are also 'famous' in translating each word as it comes, regardless the grammar. Don't know a word ? never mind, just insert the Dutch equivalent. It's similar to Taglish, the mix of Tagalog and English).

In Dutch the order would be: "Mag ik een reep chocola van U", or for short, "mag ik 'n reep van U", ( well, while trying to pronounce this, you probably smell the rat). This 'reep' phoneticly sounds just the English 'rape'.

YES, she was there at the counter and asked this guy behind it:

"Please, can you give me a reep".
And she was smiling at him, hummm..

Tell you, before this boat had its anchors into English seabed, all crew and passengers picked up this 'ferry-tale' . This girl was only told at arrival what had caused the hilarity. The Hulk easely turns green, but she got a colour one can't describe. Somewhere between 'Pearple Rain' and 'Pearple Heart' ..


Huhuhuh,

Please 'bear' with me as I know that my English words sometimes make you smile....hahaha

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David Caradine dead

Saturday, June 20, 2009

David Carradine Murdered By Secret Shaolin Masturbation Sect

David Carradine Murdered By Secret Shaolin Masturbation Sect
Kung Fu star was reportedly about to reveal ultimate “Thousand Palms” masturbation technique to Western masturbators


BANGKOK – The investigation into the death of David Carradine took a shocking twist today when it was revealed that the former TV star was actively investigating the closely guarded secrets of a Chinese Shaolin masturbation sect during the time of his death.

The news was announced at a press conference by private detectives working on behest of Mr Carradine’s family, which had maintained all along that the death was neither suicide nor an accident, as the Thai forensices team had initially concluded.

“It appears that Mr Carradine was involved in a top-secret mission to uncover the greatest secrets of martial-arts masturbation, secrets which could revolutionize the way the world masturbates,” said Walter Polanski, the investigator who cracked the case. “And he was murdered for it.”

According to a full 34-page report given to the press and Thai authorities, Mr Carradine first developed an interest in the legendary “Thousand Palms” technique of self-gratification when he heard of the legend as a young man during travels through China, where he was traveling as a novice student masturbator. It was in a temple near the base of Wudan Mountain that Mr Carradine was told that the legend was in fact real, and that a secretive group of Shaolin maturbating monks called the Robed Hands still existed to maintain and protect the Thousand Palms technique.

“The Thousand Palms technique is the holy grail of jerking off,” explained Dr. Min-Guo Chung, a professor of Eastern martial and maturbatory arts and as well as an accomplished wushu practitioner. “There are many versions of the legend. Some say it was given to a monk by a penis-headed dragon in the Shang Dynasty. Others say it was simply developed by the monks later in the Northern School as a way to combat boredom, because there were no girls around. One version even claims that it was a young, skilled martial artist named Wang who was punished by his master for masturbating at night. Wang then rebeled by incorporating his masturbation technique into his kung-fu, eventually creating a way of reaching orgasm that could kill another man.”

Dr Chung said that if the Thousand Palms technique was still practiced, it would be a secret so powerful that its practitioners would probably kill to protect it. “It is said that the orgasm is so intense and pleasurable that it makes you no longer want to have sex, ever,” he explained. “Legend says that the Thousand Palms masturbation, in the hands of those ill-prepared to handle it, would kill off society and the human race.”

Mr Carradine, however, was determined to “reveal the ancient secrets to the world,” according to Mr Polanski. His report details several conversations Mr Carradine had with friends where he claimed that that he was close to finding the source of the Thousand Palms technique, and that its liberation would bring peace and prosperity to a frustrated maturbating world. “David was a believer in the true healing power of the masturbatory arts,” said his brother Keith. “He didn’t belive in the elitist structures and rituals of the Shaolin. He wanted to bring orgasmic power to the common man. That’s the kind of person he was.”

Mr Carradine’s trip to Bangkok, ostensibly to work on a film, was in fact a cover for his true purpose, which was to find a mysterious “Mr A” who was supposedly a former member of the Robed Hands but who had been expelled and was now living disguised as a beggar on the streets of Rattanakosin. In the days prior to his death Mr Carradine traveled extensively throughout the Old Town area on foot, dressed as a vagrant. Based on eyewitness acccounts, it is believed that the day before his death he actually found Mr A, although its is not known how their meeting went.

“Just before he died, he requested three meters of electrical cord,” said the front-desk manager at the Swissotel Nailert where he was staying. “He said it was important.” Both Polanski and Mr Carradine’s family believe that this suggests that Mr A had imparted some partial information about the Thousand Palms to David, and that perhaps a second meeting was to be arranged after Mr Carradine has successfully employed these techniques.

Although hotel security has no record of any other persons entering Mr Carradine’s room just before the time of his death, the family remains adamant that the Robed Hands were capable of murdering him without drawing attention. “These monks are absolute experts in doing things discreetly,” said Dr Chung. “A Robed Hand master can, for example, masturbate to completion in four seconds while holding a drink in one hand and a captive bird in the other. Surely such a man could sneak into a hotel room and strangle a 72-year old man.”

Thai police remain sceptical of the claims, and as of yet are not ready to retract or modify their original findings that the former TV star died while attempting a conventional auto-asphyxiation masturbation technique. But the family remains adamant that Mr Carradine could not possibly have died using such easy self-gratification. “My husband was no ordinary masturbator,” insisted his wife Annie. “He was a heroic masturbator, a champion of masturbation education, and someone who’s passion for masturbation could be seen in everything he said and did. And I just want the world to remember him that way.”

3 comments:

bert said...

I am a 5th Dan-grade holder only but I discovered that a martial arts training will lead to higher levels. Some Ninja are able to do incredable things. This masturbation chapter however is a long kept secret; most of you will remember the Bruce Lee story where he got ex-communicated by the Chinese cos he was teaching kung-fu secrets to the West. The oriëntals don't want the rest of the world to know these treasures. ( I wonder why there are so many Chinese ?)

A well trained martial artist is able to break stones with his bare hands, or to kill instantly by finger-touch only. This is not just physical power, most of it is 'power of the mind',this mental strenght is beyond imagination and can be used not only to destroy or kill, but to build or to heal.

Yes, I could break stones and fall without getting hurt. But is was much more fun to fix broken ribs or to cure where doctors failed.
Nick was one of the many I laid my hand on, and as he once wrote in AV maniacs, he hardly saw me on the set of 'Born on the 4th of july' as I was fully booked by these 'Hollywooders'.

There are still many unsolved mysteries, one of them is, I won't reveal my masturbating Dan-grades. LOL

June 21, 2009 3:15 AM

Don Gordon Bell said...

Bert,
As a martial artist- though of lesser degrees 1st and 2nd in TaeKwonDo, Kenpo, UechiRyu- I concur with you on the secret Masturbation Arts of the Orient. You mentioned the "finger touch" technique, which has severely injured unwitting students who picked their noses and caused greavious problems to their nasal passages and sinus cavitities.

But I digress from Wanking...You can confirm the secret techniques of "Dim Mak" or Death Touch which harnessed the power of affecting a persons Ki/CHI or Qi. This knowledge is used for healing the life energy or in the case of Dim Mak can cause instant paralysis or delayed death. Many films have 'touched' on this Dark side of Qi; misusing knowledge of this for negative even deadly matters.

Mastering Kempo” by William Durbin (pg. 32)

"Okinawans learned Dim Mak from China but developed it greatly...In Japanese, Dim Mak is pronounced Ten Myaku and means “point on a blood vessel.”
“In ancient times the Okinawans talked about Ikken Hissatsu-one hit, certain death-from their understanding of Ten Myaki and Naibu Hakai….those who have been hit with a NaibuHakai strike have told about feeling the hit at the point of contact but feeling the Power on the other side of the body. This has been called a Ki Shindo, or energy pulse, a vibration that carries through the whole body from the force of the blow.”

This may have been the origin of the concept of the vibrating palm. The hit causes the damage, but with internal bleeding and interior damage, death comes later, hence the idea of delayed death.”

I studied the Vibrating palm with a dual purpose, Self-Gratification of my "One-eyed Pole" and Pleasuring the "Golden Gate" or "Golden Gully" when my pole was just too tired.

(Please link to this explanation of the "Golden Gate" it is not the bridge!)
http://yoniversum.nl/yoni/yonilist.html

One must be careful of not overusing these techniques too much as Self-Gratification may lead to a very sore "little brother". Beware of over-stimulation of the female "Heavenly Gate" while while performing "Tongue Fu" or "Lickity-Split". Women have been know to grow disdainful of the "One-Eyed Pole" after such marvelous menstrations using the most Heavenly Combination Technique the secret "Vibrating finger on G-Spot, TongueFu, AND Vibrating palm on Clitoris"! This must only be use in cases of Totally Frigid bitches and has been known to lead to...marriage! You have been warned.

July 5, 2009 3:03 AM

...almost a blackbelt.

Click the monkey.

Both of them ha ....

 
16 year old bud impresses top G8... 

 

Oeps, when Michelle sees this....

My first films with Cirio Santiago and Teddy Page.

-->1985 had a slow start, I didn't really hunt for the movies and had fun on the tatami in Rizal Memorial. I wanted those judoka of mine to perform at their best when they were about to join the ASEAN-games in Taiwan, but as far as I remember none of them succeeded to reach the podium. Well, it takes many years of preparation to reach that level. A little disappointed I decided to invest more of my time in this movie-thing. One way or another I was to meet with Cirio Santiago, a local giant in the film-industry who became president of the Philippine Film Development Fund in 1995.( He died last 3 years later).

Those also were the days I met with Richard Harrison and Teddy Page, sometimes I got confused in which film I was working in, cos I met a lot of the same guys, AD's and directors again. Working titles didn't help either...

This also was the periode James Gaines' 'Blackfire' was shot. I was on the set for a couple a days but can't really remember the stuff we did...hmmm

It was a period of shooting some scenes one day, then a couple a days later another call to do more action scenes or other fighting choreographics. I learned it was the shooting for Blooddepts.

Blood Debts, full movie

 It was fun to see Richard again not much later on the set of the Eliminators (or one of the others..!!), he didn't seem to bother the time-lap as he continued his story where he stopped it last time, telling about his number one pride, his son Sebastian.

He always talked about him. And wasn't it about his son, he would talk about the hundreds of movies he featured in. His filmography is phenomenal, and though most of his films rank B, he once in awhile had a peak coming up with a nice piece a shit.

I loved the guy and talked with him for hours. He seemed to have some problems with the retreating hairline, but solved that by implants. Yeah Rich, it's hard growin' older.

It was a wrap. I could add 2 more movies to my beginning filmography.... I thought....(it was 'n aka...!!!)

The same happened on the set with The Destroyers, King's Ransom and Devastator. I don't know how long it took to shoot these movies, cos I wasn't there all the time. I didn't live in Manila so I wasn't around every day. But I knew where to go though..! Easy and cheap by Jeepney, I studied my map and knew how to find my way in MM. It wasn't always necessary to visit the casting bureau's, a phone call would do to learn the location...I just went there...! Anyway, these 3 movies with Cirio lasted several weeks I guess, it didn't ring a bell that cast and crew were all the same.... Henry Strzalkowski, Nick Nicholson, Steve Rogers, James Gaines, Bill Kipp, David Light, Richard Harrison....and all the others...

Then there were the foreign releases with different/translated titles on the covers.

....It was only 25 years later I found out those 3 films were all the same shoot. Renewed contact with my old movie-Buddies helped me to refresh memories and to add or change details.

Kings Ransom. Or one of the others...!

Whatever. They were hunting us, shooting at us and trying to kill us. I didn't know why ( they gave me no script !). We were told to run and answer fire and fight.... Who were we ??

A couple a goons, some awkward hoodlums, roughnecks defending their weed plantation. I think Nick Nicholson called it something like: "We're the motherfuckin' bad guys, that's what we are..", as I asked him whom we should impersonate. 
 

Jeez, they did some character-casting on us....

Now, I don't know why I had several resurrections to die another violent death. May be there weren't enough stuntmen or Cirio just liked the way I died, who knows, but I was brutally murdered at least 5 times in this movie. After a metamorphoses I had to show up for another ready- to-die action.

The set-up for the next trap is pretty simple. While on the flee I ran in to an ambush. There's a rope's loop under a tree hiding a booby trap, the moment I hit the loop I'll be pulled up the tree hanging upside down swinging one leg.

At the evil place I go face first by hooking my own leg. I hit the ground, my rifle is flying away from me. At that point the camera stops rolling. The loop is carefully placed around my ankle. I'm not moving an inch... everybody is ready and there we go. Action.

OK, it was action I tell you. There were four guys, off-frame, pulling this rope with all their enthousiasm to the limit. So I ended off-frame as well, in top of the fucking tree. It had to be done again, so they got a mark where to stop pulling and I was placed back in position #1.

"Ready for take 2 ? ... Action !"

And up it went again. Oh yeah, at the right height this time, but I was moving and swinging and spinning around, clashing with the tree. I tried to make the best of it and started yelling and cursing for help. But Cirio didn't like it, he had planned something else. It had to be done a third time.

"The direct is shouting action again, the guys start pulling and I go up". But half-way only, from there I went back down with the same fucking speed as I got up. I had a split second to duck my head before I hit the ground with a serious impact. The knot to extend the rope didn't hold and slipped. All four guys were on their asses as well. I was mad like hell, threw away my wig and told them to find another fucking stupid asshole to perform in their fucking amateur approach.

I didn't hurt myself at all cos I could break the fall just in time, but I didn't feel much like hanging up/down again. I mean I perished a couple a times already that day, where was my enthousiasm ? Puh...

Now I expected someone to come down and ask me to try again. I probably would have. But they didn't. They didn't dare fucking me up one more time.. hahaha. Well they found me a double to finish the high-light. I was watching this picture from a distance and noticed that my double was placed in up/down position directly. He needed to hang to a complete still. I had no idea what was going on. I still didn't get it when they placed a bamboo frame, having sharp spears all over, around his body. Curiously I asked a smartass what they were intent to do. He explained to me that the booby trap had a follow-up. This bamboo frame is suppose to pierce the person as it swings down from the trees. Now it will be shot backwards. The frame is pulled away in this shot, but edited the reverse way. Yeah, now I got the picture why I had to hang in pose. But I wasn't told. Never mind.

I found myself a nice place behind the cams to value the first class trick. The same four guys, holding another rope with the bamboo frame now, were ready on action. I remember me thinking: I hope they made a good knot this time. There was no rehearsal, they pulled at action...

Now, how many times can you fuck up ???????? Cameras are rolling, ACTION... and they pull their asses off. Oh, believe it or not, two of them slipped out of their slippers and the frame ( quite heavy), went back the way it came. I tell you, my heart stopped beating for a while...Only inches before it was to hit my double, the move came to a hold. I had this 'funny' feeling in my stomach I can't explain to you. Wasn't I suppose to have hung there ??........ This was A Dangerous Life, was my conclusion. But I would do some more films with Cirio !!!! read more .