There are nummerous jargons but the medics are champions in using Latin words which many a patient might not understand or mis-interpret. Try this... :)
Artery - The study of paintings.
Barium - What Doctors do when patients die.
Caesarean Section - A neighbourhood in Rome
Cauterize - Made eye contact with her.
Colic - A sheep dog.
D&C - Where Washington is.
Dilate - To live long.
Enema - Not a friend.
Fibula - A small lie.
Genital - Not a Jew.
Impotent - Distinguished, well known.
Labour Pain - Getting hurt at work.
Morbid - A higher offer.
Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates.
Node - Was aware of...
Outpatient - A person who has fainted.
Post-Operative - Letter carrier.
Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery.
Seizure - Roman Emperor.
Tablet - Small table.
Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport.
Urine - Opposite of 'you're out'.
Caesarean Section - A neighbourhood in Rome
Cauterize - Made eye contact with her.
Colic - A sheep dog.
D&C - Where Washington is.
Dilate - To live long.
Enema - Not a friend.
Fibula - A small lie.
Genital - Not a Jew.
Impotent - Distinguished, well known.
Labour Pain - Getting hurt at work.
Morbid - A higher offer.
Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates.
Node - Was aware of...
Outpatient - A person who has fainted.
Post-Operative - Letter carrier.
Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery.
Seizure - Roman Emperor.
Tablet - Small table.
Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport.
Urine - Opposite of 'you're out'.
Follow the instructions
Patient:
It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable.
It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable.
Doctor:
Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?
Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?
Patient:
I sure did - the bottle said 'keep tightly closed.'
I sure did - the bottle said 'keep tightly closed.'
'What kind of work do you do?'
a woman passenger enquired of the man travelling in her train compartment.
a woman passenger enquired of the man travelling in her train compartment.
'I'm a Naval surgeon,'
he replies.
he replies.
'My word!'
spluttered the woman,
'How you doctors specialise these days.'
spluttered the woman,
'How you doctors specialise these days.'
Quick Diagnosis
Nurse:
'Doctor, Doctor the man you've just treated collapsed on the front step. What should I do?'
Doctor:
'Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!'
'Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!'
Previous post,
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