I'm not a tourist, I live here...

Living in Manila during the 80's for sure was an adventure, whether I looked to the right or the left, something was going on. One had to be careful not to run into traps as a newcomer, oh there were plenty. The main problem were the corrupted police and 'barangay' near the tourist belt. They  knew the smell of money like a hash-dog finds your weed... They were 'hunting' tourists and followed the victims for a while to discover their weak points. Taxi-drivers were involved as well. Oh, this is about the first thing you heard: "Taxi sir, taxi !!, you want a girl ?"..."Dollaaar, Dollaaar ".   then they  'hooked' the dumbasses and had them paid a huge amount of foreign currency.. "Dollaaar, Dollaaaaaaaaar". But  this happens in many a big Metropole.  Ermita wasn't different but  special.
 Piece a cake to recognize those 'barangays'( that's how they were called.)., I mean just their attitude, cheeky, mostly drunk and quite often carrying a gun. Now one day it happened that one of those nasty figures was teasing and challenging me. So I told the sucker to stop fooling around with me, either he could drink a beer on me or I would take him down the NBI-gym to kick his pinoy ass. This one wasn't that stupid, he accepted my beer, and every time I saw this guy in Ermita he would say: "Hi Boss, kumusta na po?".

Later on there were T-shirts with this print on it: I'm not a tourist, I live here.

I didn't need it anymore.. hahahahaha

Hellcamp aka Opposing force and senior visiting

Senior as a POW, on the set of Hellcamp.
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My father in Holland who had been reading all my letters about the sweet life in the Philippines and the adventures on the film sets, couldn't resist my invitation to come over for a couple of months and stay in my place.... Oh, I tell you, he had ears to that. Now you need to know that my old man only spoke Dutch and a few words of German.. In his youth ( he was born in 1910) there wasn't enough money to support high school. So when he turned 12 he had to find a job and he ended up with a local newspaper-writer/printer in our hometown. He learned the job, got his diplomas and stayed there for the rest of his carrier, I mean 53 years in a row !!! He never reported sick until his early 60's when he needed an ear surgery. He was a perfectionist in his labor, worked late and in the weekends.
In his 20's he started a second job for the weekends, and that was in the movie theater in our place. It didn't take long for him to learn how to handle the projectors. During the intermission he was selling soft drinks and candy bars.

Now it happened that both, the owner of the newspaper and the movie house operator were jewish and they were transported to labor camps in Germany during WW2, like a lot of civilian boys and men from that area. But the Germans wanted the newspaper-press to keep on rolling and they told my dad he was exempted from labor abroad so he ended up to run the store single handed . But even more LOL, cos they needed him in the theater as well.

My parents were able to survive the war without too much suffering, living in the province was better than in the big cities, the '1944 winter was the hardest part when food became scarce. Both of his employers returned from prison camps and got back to work after the war....

Now can you imagine my father when he was watching 'my movies' in his theater , 40 years later.........:)

He didn't hesitate for a moment when I asked him to come and see with his own eyes what was going on over here !!! He was 75 already and never tasted the experience of flying, so his maiden trip ( over 20 hrs from Amsterdam-Manila) was a good one for sure.

I wanted to spent some time with him and didn't mind the movie busyness for the moment.

At the beach after a typhoon..

We did a trip Manila, Ermita of course, where it all started, Luneta and the rest.

 .. we headed for Pagsanjan and the rapids, oh he loved that trip by banca and the beautiful views of the province and thought it a nice place to live.

The rapids

Well, I had planned some more, oh yeah, I took him all the way up to Baguio, 300 km up north and at a comfortable 1500 meters altitude.

Most of the time of this 6 hrs trip was spent on numerous mountain-passes and hairpin bends that slowed us down quite a bit, but the sight, this beautiful sight wow, when y're above the clouds for a while, leaving us a view  we'ld never forget for the rest of our life. By plane it will take  about 3/4 of an hour, but travelling by bus is an event you should taste for at least once in your lifetime The difference in temperature is a 10 C. jump. From 35 down to 25 is cool man. During the hot summers the government settles  here and so do another quarter of a million tourists to double the population of the city during the hot season. 

When you want more than Baguio you need to take another 6 hours drive to Banaue and Sagada in the middle of the Mountain province. And it's worth it. Pa didn't mind the trip but faced some problems when he needed to dump a load. It aren't really comfort rooms, its a hole, there's no toilet paper and it's stinky and filthy. He came back to get some tissues but wasn't amused at all, well shit happens hahaha...

The beautiful Sagada falls, but not easy to come there

I had been here before and knew where to find us a nice and cheap place to stay. Oh and I knew where to get me a joint, well not too difficult, just follow the nice smells.

Banaue, an ingenious system

Sagada view.

The reason why tourists come to this small mountain village is the marvelous cave system ,and the hanging coffins of course which make it a lugubrious attraction. And to ride the rapids...

The coffins ( with contents ) are placed at various unreachable ridges along the sides.

Some of them are at closer distance and give a morbide look to the degraded remains.

We had a 12 hours journey ahead of us back to Manila. One way or another we managed to get one of the last busses to my place. We were exhausted  at arrival. ...As soon as we were recovered from our 'worldtrip' we went to Manila  once again. I wanted to have a look at Central Casting's cos there was something comin'up in a while as I'd learned. And it was a hit, Maria Metcalfe passed me a contract which I had to sign instantly. "You are playing a guard", she said. The shootings were to start by next week, that's all I knew... When we got outside, we walked in to Peta and Peter ( from the Firebird) they had no plans for the rest of the day so they joined us to the beach. My father finally met with his first movie stars :))

and there were more to come...

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I told him I would be gone for the whole week to shoot that movie, but he didn't mind he said, he could use a rest hahaha. And he wasn't alone. My 'alalay' came to visit him with her children every day, she did the shoppings and cooked him a meal. He was in good hands with my friends from the barrio . I took off for Manila and at arrival in 'Film-more' Avenue I met with old buddies. Steve Rogers was there, Willie Williams, David Light and Henry Strzalkowski. And some more guys I never met before. Our location ??... My favorite province Laguna !! We were heading for "Hidden Valley' near Alaminos.

This valley is situated between Laguna-lake ... View on Taal lake.

...and Taal-lake and was formed ages ago when the whole area was blown apart by a huge eruption. The volcanic activities didn't stop since, it still rumbles and bumbles once in a while. There are hot water springs all over the place, small lakes, a unique flora and fauna, little rivers every were, the sound of falling water, the smell of the jungle. It was such a nice place to be, a real Wonderland.

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FULL Movie CLICK HERE 

  'Clay Pigeons'.. aka 'Hellcamp'.. aka 'Opposing Force'

The film set was a prisoner camp, supposed to be on a remote island in the middle of nowhere. The prisoners needed to be guarded and I was one of them. The shootings might take as long as three weeks, weekends off.. 

 ... Prisoner Steve Rogers, 'guarded' by Bill Kipp and me, with Rafael Shulz and Henry Strzalkowski flanking 

    

 

  

   

Cast and crew

It was a relaxed set, there were more crew than cast. There was plenty of time to smoke a doobie and to enjoy the nature at its best. Henry really was a nice guy, typing his name is the only unpleasant part of it, hahaha. I think this was the 5th or 6th movie I worked for him and he joined many a joint. Henry didn't give it a second thought when I asked him how about bringing my old man to the set next week? He said it was a nice plan and would ask higher-up. Production didn't mind and it was OK'd. When I told the cast about my fathers visit next week they all saw it as a very nice opportunity for a retiree to experience this adventure.... 

Bertus sr. jumped sky high when I told him about things to come. He couldn't wait the weekend to pass... 

 

Pa had a good time on the set and it didn't bother him at all that nobody understood what he said and that came vice versa..

Housing wasn't a problem either, there was plenty of room and an extra bed was provided in one of our nice bungalows. I wanted to pay for the food but he was an 'all in' gast and it was for free. My father was surprised by all this hospitality and felt a little like a movie star already. He was allowed to stay for a couple of days and he enjoyed every minute of it.

Hell Camp (AKA Opposing Force or Clay Pigeons) — withDing Navasero, Nato Morado, Bert Spoor, Vic Ordonez, Steve Cook, Jim Gaines Jr, Rafael Schulz, Henry Strzalkowski, David Light, Sgt. Boy Ibanez, Bill Kipp and Tony Williams.

The second day we switched to night shooting, means we had to work after the 6 o'clock diner!!

At 7 it was almost dark already and cameras were rolling. We did our things until midnight.. then all of a sudden the lights were switched off. I thought it was an early wrap, but the lights went on again while everybody was singing "happy birthday".  

Our direct, Eric Carson was celebrating his birthday and there was the party..

 

It wasn't just snacks and drinks, no there was a show attached. Two Philippina's started a striptease and were drinking champagne from eachothers navels. Dad liked it....

Next morning he was still talking about it and he enjoyed the rest of his stay.......:)

Not so much room.. .

I had planned to join him on the trip back to Holland and stay there for a month or so. But Ken Metcalfe made the difference.

There was something coming up, if I was interested ???????

 ...you bet..!

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Wen jor Inglis is nuts oh gut..

I like writing, already since I was a kid. Reading was my first hobby, books weren't safe for me and the thicker those books were, the more I enjoyed it. And I became critical as it comes to Dutch grammar, well nothing weird to that as both my parents stimulated this habit by getting me involved in playing 'Scrabble'. Then there were those brain-brakers: cryptograms, oh I loved them' suckers, it was playing language and you needed to be a smartass to understand all the hidden hints.  Besides that my old man was a typographer to a local newspaper and was typing and printing and correcting...

The Dutch (and Scandinavian even more) people are known for speaking their languages. The British, French and the German however score significant lower in speaking a second 'tongue'. Most Americans stick to English only, (some of them even think Paris France is a model) LOL.

But our laughs are not at you....

This story realy happened.

It was back in the 90's when this Dutch girl maked her first trip abroad. She was still a teener and most likely skipped a lot of her English classes. It happened on her trip to England at the ferry somewhere between Calais-Dover. Some miles offshore the stores on the ship open their Taxfree shops to sell their stuff, now all she wanted was a bar of chocolate like Mars or something.

( Now we Dutchmen are also 'famous' in translating each word as it comes, regardless the grammar. Don't know a word ? never mind, just insert the Dutch equivalent. It's similar to Taglish, the mix of Tagalog and English).

In Dutch the order would be: "Mag ik een reep chocola van U", or for short, "mag ik 'n reep van U", ( well, while trying to pronounce this, you probably smell the rat). This 'reep' phoneticly sounds just the English 'rape'.

YES, she was there at the counter and asked this guy behind it:

"Please, can you give me a reep".
And she was smiling at him, hummm..

Tell you, before this boat had its anchors into English seabed, all crew and passengers picked up this 'ferry-tale' . This girl was only told at arrival what had caused the hilarity. The Hulk easely turns green, but she got a colour one can't describe. Somewhere between 'Pearple Rain' and 'Pearple Heart' ..


Huhuhuh,

Please 'bear' with me as I know that my English words sometimes make you smile....hahaha

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David Caradine dead

Saturday, June 20, 2009

David Carradine Murdered By Secret Shaolin Masturbation Sect

David Carradine Murdered By Secret Shaolin Masturbation Sect
Kung Fu star was reportedly about to reveal ultimate “Thousand Palms” masturbation technique to Western masturbators


BANGKOK – The investigation into the death of David Carradine took a shocking twist today when it was revealed that the former TV star was actively investigating the closely guarded secrets of a Chinese Shaolin masturbation sect during the time of his death.

The news was announced at a press conference by private detectives working on behest of Mr Carradine’s family, which had maintained all along that the death was neither suicide nor an accident, as the Thai forensices team had initially concluded.

“It appears that Mr Carradine was involved in a top-secret mission to uncover the greatest secrets of martial-arts masturbation, secrets which could revolutionize the way the world masturbates,” said Walter Polanski, the investigator who cracked the case. “And he was murdered for it.”

According to a full 34-page report given to the press and Thai authorities, Mr Carradine first developed an interest in the legendary “Thousand Palms” technique of self-gratification when he heard of the legend as a young man during travels through China, where he was traveling as a novice student masturbator. It was in a temple near the base of Wudan Mountain that Mr Carradine was told that the legend was in fact real, and that a secretive group of Shaolin maturbating monks called the Robed Hands still existed to maintain and protect the Thousand Palms technique.

“The Thousand Palms technique is the holy grail of jerking off,” explained Dr. Min-Guo Chung, a professor of Eastern martial and maturbatory arts and as well as an accomplished wushu practitioner. “There are many versions of the legend. Some say it was given to a monk by a penis-headed dragon in the Shang Dynasty. Others say it was simply developed by the monks later in the Northern School as a way to combat boredom, because there were no girls around. One version even claims that it was a young, skilled martial artist named Wang who was punished by his master for masturbating at night. Wang then rebeled by incorporating his masturbation technique into his kung-fu, eventually creating a way of reaching orgasm that could kill another man.”

Dr Chung said that if the Thousand Palms technique was still practiced, it would be a secret so powerful that its practitioners would probably kill to protect it. “It is said that the orgasm is so intense and pleasurable that it makes you no longer want to have sex, ever,” he explained. “Legend says that the Thousand Palms masturbation, in the hands of those ill-prepared to handle it, would kill off society and the human race.”

Mr Carradine, however, was determined to “reveal the ancient secrets to the world,” according to Mr Polanski. His report details several conversations Mr Carradine had with friends where he claimed that that he was close to finding the source of the Thousand Palms technique, and that its liberation would bring peace and prosperity to a frustrated maturbating world. “David was a believer in the true healing power of the masturbatory arts,” said his brother Keith. “He didn’t belive in the elitist structures and rituals of the Shaolin. He wanted to bring orgasmic power to the common man. That’s the kind of person he was.”

Mr Carradine’s trip to Bangkok, ostensibly to work on a film, was in fact a cover for his true purpose, which was to find a mysterious “Mr A” who was supposedly a former member of the Robed Hands but who had been expelled and was now living disguised as a beggar on the streets of Rattanakosin. In the days prior to his death Mr Carradine traveled extensively throughout the Old Town area on foot, dressed as a vagrant. Based on eyewitness acccounts, it is believed that the day before his death he actually found Mr A, although its is not known how their meeting went.

“Just before he died, he requested three meters of electrical cord,” said the front-desk manager at the Swissotel Nailert where he was staying. “He said it was important.” Both Polanski and Mr Carradine’s family believe that this suggests that Mr A had imparted some partial information about the Thousand Palms to David, and that perhaps a second meeting was to be arranged after Mr Carradine has successfully employed these techniques.

Although hotel security has no record of any other persons entering Mr Carradine’s room just before the time of his death, the family remains adamant that the Robed Hands were capable of murdering him without drawing attention. “These monks are absolute experts in doing things discreetly,” said Dr Chung. “A Robed Hand master can, for example, masturbate to completion in four seconds while holding a drink in one hand and a captive bird in the other. Surely such a man could sneak into a hotel room and strangle a 72-year old man.”

Thai police remain sceptical of the claims, and as of yet are not ready to retract or modify their original findings that the former TV star died while attempting a conventional auto-asphyxiation masturbation technique. But the family remains adamant that Mr Carradine could not possibly have died using such easy self-gratification. “My husband was no ordinary masturbator,” insisted his wife Annie. “He was a heroic masturbator, a champion of masturbation education, and someone who’s passion for masturbation could be seen in everything he said and did. And I just want the world to remember him that way.”

3 comments:

bert said...

I am a 5th Dan-grade holder only but I discovered that a martial arts training will lead to higher levels. Some Ninja are able to do incredable things. This masturbation chapter however is a long kept secret; most of you will remember the Bruce Lee story where he got ex-communicated by the Chinese cos he was teaching kung-fu secrets to the West. The oriëntals don't want the rest of the world to know these treasures. ( I wonder why there are so many Chinese ?)

A well trained martial artist is able to break stones with his bare hands, or to kill instantly by finger-touch only. This is not just physical power, most of it is 'power of the mind',this mental strenght is beyond imagination and can be used not only to destroy or kill, but to build or to heal.

Yes, I could break stones and fall without getting hurt. But is was much more fun to fix broken ribs or to cure where doctors failed.
Nick was one of the many I laid my hand on, and as he once wrote in AV maniacs, he hardly saw me on the set of 'Born on the 4th of july' as I was fully booked by these 'Hollywooders'.

There are still many unsolved mysteries, one of them is, I won't reveal my masturbating Dan-grades. LOL

June 21, 2009 3:15 AM

Don Gordon Bell said...

Bert,
As a martial artist- though of lesser degrees 1st and 2nd in TaeKwonDo, Kenpo, UechiRyu- I concur with you on the secret Masturbation Arts of the Orient. You mentioned the "finger touch" technique, which has severely injured unwitting students who picked their noses and caused greavious problems to their nasal passages and sinus cavitities.

But I digress from Wanking...You can confirm the secret techniques of "Dim Mak" or Death Touch which harnessed the power of affecting a persons Ki/CHI or Qi. This knowledge is used for healing the life energy or in the case of Dim Mak can cause instant paralysis or delayed death. Many films have 'touched' on this Dark side of Qi; misusing knowledge of this for negative even deadly matters.

Mastering Kempo” by William Durbin (pg. 32)

"Okinawans learned Dim Mak from China but developed it greatly...In Japanese, Dim Mak is pronounced Ten Myaku and means “point on a blood vessel.”
“In ancient times the Okinawans talked about Ikken Hissatsu-one hit, certain death-from their understanding of Ten Myaki and Naibu Hakai….those who have been hit with a NaibuHakai strike have told about feeling the hit at the point of contact but feeling the Power on the other side of the body. This has been called a Ki Shindo, or energy pulse, a vibration that carries through the whole body from the force of the blow.”

This may have been the origin of the concept of the vibrating palm. The hit causes the damage, but with internal bleeding and interior damage, death comes later, hence the idea of delayed death.”

I studied the Vibrating palm with a dual purpose, Self-Gratification of my "One-eyed Pole" and Pleasuring the "Golden Gate" or "Golden Gully" when my pole was just too tired.

(Please link to this explanation of the "Golden Gate" it is not the bridge!)
http://yoniversum.nl/yoni/yonilist.html

One must be careful of not overusing these techniques too much as Self-Gratification may lead to a very sore "little brother". Beware of over-stimulation of the female "Heavenly Gate" while while performing "Tongue Fu" or "Lickity-Split". Women have been know to grow disdainful of the "One-Eyed Pole" after such marvelous menstrations using the most Heavenly Combination Technique the secret "Vibrating finger on G-Spot, TongueFu, AND Vibrating palm on Clitoris"! This must only be use in cases of Totally Frigid bitches and has been known to lead to...marriage! You have been warned.

July 5, 2009 3:03 AM